How we relate to others has a lot to do with how we relate to ourselves. We can choose to have an unhealthy relationship with anyone from our parents to our pets, but if we aren’t comfortable in our own skin, no one else will be either. This article explores why the best relationship to have is the one with yourself, and how you can strengthen it today and every day going forward.

Trust yourself

Most of us grow up with a story about ourselves that we tell ourselves. We tell ourselves that we’re not good enough or smart enough or pretty enough, that there is something wrong with us and only someone else can fix it. 

So instead of trusting ourselves and our ability to listen, create boundaries, and speak up for what we need in a relationship, we end up completely dependent on another person to validate who we are.

Think about what you want

What do you expect from a romantic relationship? Do you want romance, security, or passion? You should have some expectations set before jumping into a relationship.

 Only then will you be able to tell if a relationship meets those expectations. For example, if your expectation is passion and your new partner isn’t really interested in spending time with you emotionally and romantically (and vice versa), it may not be a good match for both of you.

 If you want someone who will fulfill all of your relationship needs, that’s okay. And if you just want to be happy and have someone in your life with whom you can share experiences and make memories, that’s okay, too.

 You should still know what you want out of a relationship so it won’t be a surprise later on if things don’t work out with your partner. But keep in mind that relationships don’t come with guarantees.

Take time out for yourself

Make it a point to take time out for yourself every day, whether you go to a yoga class, go on a run, or just spend some time in your journal.

 Giving yourself some you time will help give you energy and balance. In addition to being healthy and productive, taking care of yourself will make you feel good about yourself—and that’s important for relationships of any kind!

Set Boundaries

An essential part of self-care is learning to say no. Saying yes when you really want to say no leads you down a path of resentment and frustration. 

Over time, setting boundaries with other people will lead you to saying no more frequently, but it’s a practice that will be good for your relationships and peace of mind in both your personal life and at work.

Love isn’t always fair

Sometimes we fall in love with people who aren’t right for us, who don’t treat us well or don’t value us. 

Other times, we fall out of love with someone who was great for us once upon a time. In either case, it can be difficult to stay positive and to understand that loving yourself is more important than being loved by another person.

You deserve love and respect as much as anyone else

However, when it comes to your relationships with other people, what you deserve doesn’t really matter. 

If a person can’t or won’t treat you in a way that makes you feel good, they aren’t someone who deserves to be in your life. 

A healthy relationship is more than being compatible with each other – it has to be based on mutual respect and love for one another.

Don’t play games with your own emotions

Trying to make your way into someone else’s heart can be an exercise in futility. Don’t try to convince yourself that you love a person just because it feels good to be with them.

 Likewise, don’t spend too much time waiting for someone who you know isn’t going to commit; if someone wants to be in a relationship with you, they will make it happen—no matter how long it takes.

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